RETRACTION: FADS

So I realized (after receiving a TON of flack) that I really do enjoy your craftiness! And amazingly enough I thought I knew no one that really was that crafty.....or that anyone read this blog. Apparently people do read it and you are all crafty (its rude you would not share either of these facts with me before I made an ass of myself) So I stand corrected..I love the burp cloth that was made for me, also the baby towel, my friend Brandi's watches and of course my sister Mandy's everything (because she is just that crafty) So there you have Blogspiers I do love the craftiness!!

Soul Mates

You know you have found yours

when they also get bored watching the hour long ultrasound of your unborn child

sorry peeps we just aren't those people!!

Don't Judge Us!!

Bathroom

When walking to the community bathroom in your office building take note of who you pass in the hall. If it just so happens that you pass another woman walking away from the bathroom with a latex glove on one hand and in the other she is holding a can of Febreze, and then you actually SMELL the Febreze, it is probably worth it to hike upstairs to the next bathroom.....even if your shoes are hurting your dawgs! :)

FADS!

I hate a good fad...HATE them!

I hate that your friend, relative or complete stranger

shows you his or her

NEW (you've seen it duplicated many times in different colors)

bead watch band, or hip new string necklace.

They also show you their new

"crafty" thing that they are now doing, that you should be buying...

Please Friends, Family, and Strangers alike have courtesy

no one and I mean NO ONE

wants to buy your craptacular anything

we have seen it 1 MILLION times before


on someone else.

its not cool, your not cool and your craftiness SUCKS!!

HOLD PLEASE

Dear Mr. Customer Service Rep

Please put me on hold before holding a 3 min. conversation with a co-worker. Really, it's the polite thing to do.




picture from www.despair.com

Interviews

Things that should DEFINITELY be said in Southern Utah Job Interviews
"Oh don't you know so and so, he is my bishop"
"In my old ward I did the following tasks...."
"I vote republican"
"In my free time I'm the young mens president and my wife stays home with our six kids and one on the way"
"I am only here to see so and so" (when the person that will be hiring you is not the same person. but the person you are asking for knows your parents, grandparents)

April Foolsing

According to the most clever of six-year-olds, he is great at April Foolsing. So here's to you, Mr. Smartie Pants, for the great prank in saying "oh my gosh! Look at that cheetah!" - you really got me!! :)

Politics at work

Politics at work = FAIL (primarily because there are too many extremist wackos out there making everyone who has any kind of opinion that doesn't involve catchphrases from some slimeball's talk-radio show feel as if they might have just made an enemy for life.)

Leaving your dishes in the sink at work = FAIL (I know that I used to do this when Sweet Catherine worked here and mothered me, but now that I'm the only lady here and this bloody chore has defaulted to me - apparently because I have a vadge - I am well aware that this is more than taboo. It is downright discriminatory! I have a child....and it's not you (thank goodness). )


Getting angry with the peeps who are there to help you do your job = FAIL (um, these people have worked for the company for YEARS, have been extensively trained, and are trained for the sole purpose of helping YOU - yes you, the newest guy to this company, understand how to do your job. Why you gotta be mean?)

Treating people like minions = FAIL (this is only slightly a feminism thing, mostly it's just a respect people thing.)

Yes, You Are

I just found this article on Feminism!
YES, I AM
So just thought I would link it so the three that read the blog can realize they are too.....see we are handy here at (amm)2. Happy Reading!


Yes, You Are

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Is this the best you have?

I received this in my e-mail. Totally makes me want to buy lip gloss and all things "beautiful" from this company. Do you really think this is the BEST picture of a mouth talking that they could find....and if so YIKES!!

No Soup For You!

(image found via wikipedia)

So on Friday when I called my Mortgage Company I felt like maybe I was talking to the Soup Nazi, I had received some papers from them and there was no prepaid envelope to send them back. I called and asked if they could email me a shipping slip and then I could just go and pick up an envelope so they could get the TIME SENSITIVE docs back. No apparently that is a COURTESY that they extend to only a few select people. I asked somewhat jokingly "oh so I don't deserve that courtesy?" The answer I received you ask...."No I guess not!" dead serious. I feel like I asked for that answer but REALLY?? What happened to customer service, or just being like sorry it must have been an oversight. I ended up paying 30 BONES for it to be overnighted.... NO COURTESY FOR YOU!! :|

You're a DEUSCH!!

(this image is not the original I made a duplicate!)

This would be the note left on my truck the other night....... If you know me you know I left a similar response on the back of the note that said Learn how to spell Douche! I mean if you want to be insulting can you at least spell correctly.....Am I right?!?

Fashion Police

It's a Tuesday morning, sitting in a psychology class when in walks a boy with RED/ORANGE HAIR AND A BRIGHT PINK SHIRT!!!! Now I am all for not matching but when your HAIR and your SHIRT clash because you want to be such a tool......its sad Mr. Tool just Sad.
It had the same affect as Molly Ringwald who is not so Pretty in Pink with that hair. Just Sayin!!

Shoe Update

Although I do stand firm that shoes do not make you indecent or skanky, I have realized that shoes that are exceptionally high-heeled are very hard to walk around in all day at work. I suppose it would be different if work consisted of upbeat dance tunes, lots and lots of Crown and Rockstar, and a man at your side helping you up and down stairs etc. I'm not officially rescinding the previous post, just saying some shoes are too hard on your dawgs for work :)

Slaylist??

I was just texting my best bestie ever, Jen B.rad, and tried to input the word "playlist", as in ipod playlist. Well the default word for that particular set of letters is "slaylist". What exactly is a slaylist and how can it be used in a sentence? Here are some examples I thought of:

I've just finished my slaylist, there are five people this week that need to watch their back.

I wrote my slaylist in invisible ink so that my husband will never know what I think of his mother.

Sh*tlists are for the weak. If you REALLY mean business you have a slaylist.

LOL I mean seriously??? I'm concerned with the peeps at LG and what exactly they are thinking.... >:-\

Politics and other Infuriating details!

I get that our blog is supposed to be about our funny day to day lives, but mine seems a bit more mundane than usual so I will be posting things that get on my nerves etc. Politics is going to be at the forefront of my list. Along with other things but I do feel that if I have a blog I might as well post the things that bug me along with it ;)

Which fashion faux paus' have you fallen victim to?

OMG! I just heard this story that made the bile rise into my throat! My coworker was just telling me how he saw this kid in all his current fashionista skinny-pants glory, walking down their street. From the back was the usual skinny pants barf-fest, the pants so small that they don't fit over the butt, and have to be buttoned below it, so it's all underwear showing (ew). Well this one wasn't wearing a shirt, so as my coworker passes he happens to glance in his rear view mirror and sees this afro of pubic hair rising from the front of his pants. They were so low that his whole mane down there was showing. BARF! BARF! BARF! Why does anyone dress like this?? I'm so so grossed out now, and I can't even imagine the damage that would have caused my psyche to see it in person. Think of the children! Isn't that indecent exposure? It should be, because that, my friends, is INDECENT!

Shoes

I happen to be wearing my new heels to work today, yes the ones with four inch heels that make me approximately 6'1". I know that I am guilty of calling heels like this "hooker heels" or "slut shoes", not that I mean it because I wear high heels a lot, just that it seems like society frowns upon super high heels in certain places. For instance, work - I've seen many an MSN Careerbuilder blog that says not to wear super high heels to interviews, wear conservative shoes; also church, wouldn't all the church ladies gasp! if someone wore over a 3.5 incher to services! Now I have noticed that the rules change depending on build. Short women can get away with high heels where taller women, like myself, it's just too shocking; most likely because I am taller than most men with them on it tends to drown the inner short-man syndrome with gasoline and spark just enough to light a fire they had long ago tried to suppress.

My point is this, passing judgment on other people based on their appearance is a long debated topic, one that most of us try to avoid yet still do regardless, but really shoes? Why is there such a stigma on footwear? Does a 1/2 inch more of a heel really make us look like whores? NO!! Shoes are not immodest or outrageous! They are simply shoes! Hell, they go on our feet for gripes sakes!!!! So in response to this baseless and bonkers thought process, I will be wearing my high heels wherever I want, to the office, if I ever go into a church again, hell probably at my wedding! They are my feet and I will cover them in what I will, if you would like to gasp! in horror over my shoes or label me, feel free, it will be the perfect opportunity for me to justify all of the shameless and slanderous gossiping I will do about you later lol. Eventually, hopefully, people will be more concerned with being introspective and improving themselves rather than judging others for their footwear :) Until then, REBEL YELL!!!! :-)

Things

THINGS THAT MADE ME SMILE
When my 5 year old nephew asks if we have a breath mint because he forgot to brush his teeth that morning.

When same nephew is brushing his teeth later at my house and asks if the toothpaste will be "spicy", and also wanted to make sure he got to use the same stuff as my husband!!

"thanks a heap coyote ugly, this cactus gram stings even worse than your abandonment"






THINGS THAT MADE ME FROWN
So is it super annoying to anyone else that our President of the United States acts more like a celebrity than a President? I mean do I give a SHIT whether he comments on Michael Jackson's untimely demise? NOT especially so why is it a big deal if he says anything about it or not, and would that be something that any other President would be expected to address? Is it vital to our safety? On MSN's new gossip page it has a picture of the President with the heading Delayed Reaction....WOW well thank god that Barack is super concerned with MJ and his dying lest I think we be worried about N. Korea bombing us in the future woooo!

Dieting blows, I have been dieting for about a month and have lost weight but its super boring and my attention span is like 2 seconds long. Which is why I never diet its boring and too much time concerning oneself with food! So here is to another 4 weeks of salad and dedication to not stop early!!

Of Course!

So we were watching some of the special Dateline last night covering the death of Michael Jackson (and Farrah Fawcett, although we didn't watch that much of it), and they had a guest doctor come on to speculate as to what may have been the reason for the death at such a relatively young age. So the doctor says at the end of her little five minute stint, "they will be testing the tissues and doing toxicology screenings to try and find the answer as to what, if anything, may have caused this" (fairly close to original wording). Didn't something clearly cause this? I mean, he's dead. People don't just die from nothing. LOL I thought it was a funny choice of words. Thank you, Ms. Obvious! :)

PS Jen B.Grievin.....I'm so sorry for your loss.